I came from a small school where the same class stayed together till we hit junior high. I was a loving, innocent girl that wasn't ready for what I was about to endure. Once I got into junior high things changed. It was there I met Mike. (obviously I'm not going to use real names). To me he was a persistent, good looking and exciting. He made himself available wherever I went. He liked me and did whatever it took to get me as his girlfriend. I knew deep down in side this wasn't the person I wanted, but eventually I caved in. It was almost as if I was scared of him from the start. I recognized his violent behavior with classmates or even my close friends that were boys at the time. He didn't want anyone around me. I know you're probably thinking "HELLO" "RED FLAG"! But, I still don't know if I saw it as that? Or if I was just plain scared! My dad didn't like him from the start. I remember one time my dad caught him climbing the bricks outside our house to get to my window which was on the second floor! My dad chased him down the street with a baseball bat as best as he could. My mom on the other hand adored him. She was my best friend, so if she thought that his behavior was okay than I thought it was too. Within the first couple of years I began to witness the violence myself. Let me remind you that I was only about 14 years of age! I hadn't even started to discovered who I was as a person. I think it started with shoves and aggressive grabs. As it got more frequent it progressed to being strangled or being hit in the head. He would hit me in the head so no marks were visible. I literally would put myself in different place with every occurrence. I couldn't begin to tell you what had happened each and every time. My mind would literally go blank and I just took whatever came to me. I felt no pain when I put myself in the blank state of mind. Just like any abuser you've heard of he was very apologetic. He always apologized right after. Just like any woman who's been a victim to this type of behavior I believed him. My close friends began to realize what was going on. They tried to convince me to break up with him. But, I truly believed he loved me and that he didn't mean to do things he did. Most of my friends made the decision to stay away and not be around because they cared about me and didn't want to witness my destruction. Some of them even intervened and told my mom. I knew in my heart that this wasn't right! This was just the beginning of my powerless journey with abuse.
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